What if I were to tell you that monsters are real? Would you
believe me? Would you question my sanity? How would you feel if you found out
it was true, that my words are not insane ravings, and that monsters truly did
exist. Well, some monsters are real, but
they aren't just snarling beasts and creepy things that go bump in the night.
They are people. They are men and women like you. They may not look like
monsters and demons, but their actions are the more horrifying then any
creature I've ever heard of.
I've encountered a few of these monsters in my life and
thankfully I have survived, but I did not get away unscathed. I fought with
tooth and nail, I ran until my lungs were on fire and my legs collapsed to get
away from these monsters, these people. Some of them were disguised as people
close to me, family, and loved ones.
The first of these monsters was my father. At first glance
you would never guess that he was so terrible, but for 22 years I suffered
under his wrath. When I was young he hit me for behaviors he didn't like. He’d
hit me with his hands, with belts, paddles, shoes, large kitchen utensils, hot
wheel car tracks, ect. He would pop me in the mouth when I said things he
didn't care to hear. He’d whip me for being fussy before bed, or when getting
out of bed.
Eventually he stopped hitting me, around the time I was 12.
His words to me were “You’re too big for me to hit, I’m afraid you might start
hitting me back.” At that point he resorted to verbal and emotional abuse. He
would talk down to me; make me feel like utter garbage, like I was the most
useless piece of human existence. For years I took it, I didn't have the
courage to do anything about it. Until about 2 years ago when I moved in with
my boyfriend, and my mother and father had started the process of divorce – I
wasn't the only one he was abusing – that I finally severed all ties with him.
I haven’t spoken to him since.
My father wasn't the only monster in the family. Friends of
his that our family had considered relatives were also monsters. When I was
about 5 years old, my uncle, the man of the family would chase me around the
house our two families shared wearing a devil mask. My family thought it was
funny, what they didn't know is he didn't stop at chasing me around the house.
He would chase me up into the attic and pull the stairs up behind him, trapping
me up there alone with him. He would corner me, still wearing the mask and pull
his penis out. He would make me touch it, sometimes even forcing me to put it
in my mouth. It was frightening, being so young and helpless while a man I
consider family wore a devil mask and laughed while he made a child preform
such awful tasks.
The torment from him finally ended when my family moved
away. But in 2000 my family had moved back to stay with them after my father’s
sister and her husband committed suicide. My uncle had a new wife helping him
raise his son from his first wife; she had also giving birth to his daughter. I
think having a daughter of his own changed him; he never once approached me in
the same fashion he used to. I was relieved at this, unfortunately his new wife
was a far more terrifying monster then he had been. One afternoon, shortly
after my 10th birthday, while the majority of both families were out
running errands and working I was left at home with my new aunt. She took the opportunity to attack me. I sat quietly
at the dining room table drawing and coloring when she approached me. She was a
much larger woman, and came into the room wearing nothing but a thin flimsy
robe. I tried to be polite and not look at her, thinking she was just coming in
to grab clothes out of the laundry room. She wasn't. She strode around the
table and pulled me from my chair, her hand gripping my arm painfully. She
slapped my glasses off my face and undid her robe, before forcing my face into
her putrid loins. I can’t say how long it lasted, and I don’t care to think
about it. She was one of the worst monsters I have encountered in my life time;
her actions left the most irreversible scars in my mind. I have trouble
trusting most women after what she had done to me.
Unfortunately she wasn't the only one in the house at the
time that had such awful plans for me. My uncle’s son, Jr. was hitting puberty
and had become very fond of me. He would come into my room while I was sleeping
and touch me while he would pleasure himself. It’s odd being molested by an
entire family. Part of me wonders if they were in it together, or if it was
just some tragic coincidence.
Between the years of 2001-2006 I lived in south Florida,
where monsters lurk around every corner. My body was developing faster than my
clothes could keep up with, and all the nasty men in Florida were as aware of
this as I was. Every time I left my home I was hollered at, offered money for
sexual favors, and more. There was one incident where a man had pulled me into
his car off the street and was about to drive off, I jabbed my thumb into his
eye until it popped and he finally let me go. I could seem to catch a break,
shortly after that another man grabbed me and drug me down an alley way. I kicked,
and bit, and scratched him to no avail. He began trying to remove my clothes
when I started clutching at his head; I managed to get a hold of his ear in one
hand and a wad of his greasy hair in the other. I pulled with both hands as
hard as I could until I heard a rip and he let me go screaming. I ran as fast
as I could away from him. After that I left my home less and less.
In 2006 my family moved to Portland Oregon, and I thought I
was safe. Everyone here seemed so friendly and kind. I was wrong, there were
monsters here too. I've only run into two of them so far, but that was enough
to change me forever. The first was one Douglas Kaiser; know to the street kids
as ‘Creature’. I was almost 17 when I met him at Smyrc (Sexual Minority Youth
Resource Center), he was posing as shy gay boy. One day he asked me to help him
and his mother move into their new apartment downtown and I obliged. It only
took a few hours to get everything inside and start setting up; they didn't have
a whole lot of things to move it just being the two of them. After we had
finished setting up the living room (Douglas’ bedroom) his mother left for
work, she was a late night DJ on one of the local radio stations. Douglas and I
watch movies on his bed, when it was clear that all his attentions were focused
on me. At the time I didn't mind, I sort of liked him. He began to touch me,
and I let him, I didn't think it would go very far. I was wrong again. I was
fine with everything until he managed to get my pants off and started inserting
himself that I panicked. I was a virgin, and was trying to save myself for “Mr.
Right”, unfortunately I wasn't with “Mr. Right”, I was with Mr. Right Now. I
told him I wasn't ready for that, he didn't listen. He held his hand over my
mouth and proceeded to rape me. I suffered through it, waiting for it to end
and it did finally. To my relief he wore a condom while he raped me, so I didn't
contract anything nasty, but I did lose something very precious. I informed
police, but nothing was ever done about it. I informed a group of my friends
what he had done and they took care of what the authorities ignored. I've only
seen him once, since then and am more than happy to assume he is dead.
About a year after that I had just barely turned 18, and I
was subjected to a second rape by someone I was considering to be my new
partner. It was the worst first date I’d ever had. I spent the night at his
house and all was fine until the next morning. When he threw me on the bed,
dislocated my shoulder, slapped me in the face and raped me while he made out
with his girlfriend who thought my crying was “Cute”. I didn't bother to try
telling the police after having them do nothing about my first rape. I just
stayed as far away from him as I could. I saw him a few months ago on the train
and nearly had a nervous breakdown.
I hope now you’ll believe me when I say monsters are real.
They are human in appearance, but their actions make them more terrifying the
most hideous beasts. So, watch your back, there are monsters everywhere, in
places you least expect. Be safe.
